Sad Reminders

things left behind. it's all depressing, but some more than others.

our timelines

(when she was "interviewing" me to be her boyfriend she made a timeline of all the major events in our lives. when we started going out together we did her timeline too. her timeline ends tragically of course at the age of 31 years and 6 days. I passed the boyfriend interview, but didn't do so well after getting the job. Wish I'd known how depressed she was, but try to console myself that I would never make her happy and now she is free of pain)
an offcut of her favourite skirt which she had shortened
her sequinned black party skirt
black angel wings which she was given at her works Christmas do
An indexed book of notes on HTML tags (she tried learning HTML even though she wasn't suited to it)
a red tin heart-shaped chocolate box that she had given me on Valentine's Day
the rose in the kitchen in a jam jar vase (her father had given her it for Women's Day)
her camera which she had bought on credit in the hope of becoming a fashion photographer/stylist
50 Shades of Grey (no point her finishing it after we had seen the movie together on Valentine's day)

sorted her stuff out today. her father would soon come to collect her stuff and seeing her things everywhere wasn't helping me at all. couldn't decide what's more depressing a chair with her clothes or an empty chair.
took everything to the spare room to sort out. after sorting, I put a couple of items back on the chair. pyjama bottoms and a stripy red top.

there's her laptop too. her search history on the Friday morning contains searches on suicide amongst celebrity gossip and fashion articles.

finished packing her clothes away. so many nice things. maybe they'll end up being sold secondhand with the new owners unaware of their tragic previous owner. feels strange talking about her past tense. need to go for a walk to clear my head.


 

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